fatguy theme song

Thanks to Shorty's rapper friends, Matt now has his own theme song, "Eatin Lil'Debbies." It's great... check it out on his MySpace page.

fatguy manna from heaven...?

hee hee, check out this story & pictures. What fatguy wouldn't be excited by miles of washed-up doritos?

Photos: Spilled Doritos chips wash up on Outer Banks The Virginian-Pilot
© November 30, 2006

A cargo container that apparently fell from a ship washed up on the Outer Banks of North Carolina on Thursday and spilled thousands of bags of Doritos brand tortilla chips on the beach. People collected the chips, which were apparently still fresh due to their airtight packaging. It was unknown which ship had lost the cargo or to what port it was bound.

lazy pays off!

From cbsnews.com...

Recliner Saves Man Who Was Shot in Head
Calif. man shot in the head escapes virtually unscathed after his easy chair absorbs bullet

WALNUT CREEK, Calif., Nov. 22, 2006

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(AP) Now comes another reason to stay put in the La-Z-Boy: A man sitting in his easy chair was shot in the head by his wife, but the sturdy recliner absorbed most of the bullet's force and left him virtually unscathed.

The couple had been arguing at home on Sunday evening, said Contra Costa County sheriff's Lt. Charles Skuce. Then Jan Kamp stood behind her seated husband and fired a gun at the back of his head, Skuce said.

Because she fired through the recliner, the bullet only slightly wounded Norman Kamp, 57, Skuce said.

Norman stood up from his chair, followed his wife into the kitchen and declared, "You shot me," according to authorities.

Jan Kamp fired a second shot at her husband, but missed, Skuce said. He retreated to a neighbor's house in the unincorporated Pacheco area of the county, where he called 911.

After talking to deputies, Norman Kamp was treated at a hospital and released.

Jan Kamp, 58, was arrested on suspicion of attempted murder and booked at County Jail in Martinez.

red, white, and fried??

Where fat guys and patriotism clash? Someone decided to fry the flag. Somehow I don't think that would digest too well!

Deep-Fried American Flags Art Tossed From Tennessee Museum (from Fox News)

CLARKSVILLE, Tenn. — A museum director in this military town removed an art exhibit featuring several deep-fried American flags.

Art student William Gentry said his piece, "The Fat Is in the Fire," was a commentary on obesity in America. "I deep-fried the flag because I'm concerned about America and about America's health," Gentry said.

Customs House Museum executive director Ned Crouch took down the artwork Wednesday less than 18 hours after it went up in this community next to the Fort Campbell.

"It's about what the community values," Crouch said. "I'm representing 99 percent of our membership — educators, doctors, lawyers, military families."

He also said the timing of the piece could cause "incendiary reactions."

"Never in the history of the country has the flag been more hated or more loved," Crouch said.

The exhibit featured three U.S. flags imprinted with such phrases as "Poor people are obese because they eat poorly" and dozens of smaller flags fried in peanut oil, egg batter, flour and black pepper.

lark news strikes again

Oh how I love Lark News, the Christian equivalent of The Onion... check out this story! We SO need to use this method, we'd be full to overflowing!

Another reason for that extra protective layer...

If any of y'all decide to become a cult leader and manage to get the death penalty, you're in luck... your girth may protect you from an untimely death! (Although I'm not so sure you'll be eating cheeseburgers in paradise after leading the flock astray!)

Cult leader says he's too obese for execution - CNN.com

32 Ounces of Love

It began with a challenge... the Texas Roadhouse "Bad Larry" (32 ounces of pure, red, bloody meat). Matt had been plotting for weeks, and the time had finally come! At last, it arrived!



Matt started with the "skinny" end and began working his way through. He did hit a roadblock at about 18 oz. when the cow began fighting back. A little iced tea did the trick of easing it back into his digestive tract.



About 80% of the way through, the waitress asked if she should get the t-shirt ready. Mat perked right up. He didn't realize a t-shirt came with the feat! He had been eating the steak for pure unadulterated Fat Guy pleasure! With renewed vigor, he chomped his way through the rest... and put his game face on for the last bite.



And the final question from the waitress... "Do you want some dessert?"



The reward at the end of a long, enjoyable afternoon... the bulge of honor!

from the southern chapter of the fat boys club...

The fat boy's view of the Gulf of Mexico on Galveston island....

Fat Don't Fly

One of the funniest comments I heard during the Olympic Broadcast was a comment one of the commentators made during the ski jumping competition. On the top of the large hill, was some scrawny Finnish guy who was over 6' tall and weighed less than 150 lbs. Sure enough, the guy jumps an incredulous 140 meters and the commentator blats out, "he hit a home run, what a jump. Once again, you can see that Fat Don't Fly!"

After going to Salt Lake Olympics, standing on the side of the K90 jumping hill, and seeing numerous postponements for 20 mph winds; you don't have to worry about this fat boy trying to fly.

Fellas, crack open the non-diet sodas, grab the bag of munchies or the popcorn, and enjoy the daredevils from the comfort of your couch.

church of the fatguy

here i am to worship.....
Y'all need to check out this website... the Church Sign Generator

Back from Fat Boy Haven

Ahh! I just returned from a trip to Nacogdoches, TX - the all-inclusive founding location of the Fat Guys Club and headquarters of the Fat Guy eateries delux. If there's one thing every Fat Guy has to indulge in, it's the onion rings from Clear Springs Seafood Restaurant. Poor Justin and Sara, they were so close, yet not close enough to indulge in these delights. I guess they needed Andy to navigate for them... Meanwhile, Justin has sent us a Christmas ornament of the Cracker Barrel, so Stacey and I had fun taunting them with pics of the eateries on the camera phone.

To those of you who are Fat Guy ignorant - the Fat Guys Haven of Nacogdoches has some of the best food for the gang and it does it without a Cracker Barrel. On top of the seafood and onion rings at Clear Springs, I was fortunate enough to dine at La Carreta (a favorite of the group), Butcher Boys (something like a meat market and restaurant in one), The BBQ House (a Texas style BBQ eatery), the Cotton Patch (kinda like a local version of Cracker Barrel with a little more upscale feel), and San Miguel (another Mexican eatery in town). We even cheated at chowed down at On The Border in Tyler. I've eaten so much Mexican food that I feel like I'm swimming in salsa. None of this even counts the family's cooking which is another story of indulgence within itself.

Needless to say, with that good eating, I need to jump on that treadmill for a long time. Naaah, that wouldn't be much of a Fat Guy! The question is: "How much do those big and tall jeans cost???"