Bigger Better Blog

Welcome to the BIGGER and BETTER home of the FatGuyBlog! Please don't let the juicy burger cause you to drool on your keyboard, because you'll be needing it. I'm going to set up some of you charter members as contributors so you'll be able to post as well. Hope the new environment is roomy enough! I am still fooling with the pictures so please bear with me.

Rita Report

Here are the very important FatGuy highlights from Stephen's latest report on Hurricane Rita. What better place to be stranded than Nacogdoches, TX... birthplace of the Fat Guy Club. It was at these selfsame venues that the few extra pounds that finally pushed Justin over the edge were obtained. Guys, hope you can taste the memories...

"We get breakfast at McDonalds..."

"We finally get everyone together and go to lunch at Clear Springs (the place where Stacey and I had our rehearsal dinner) and the onion rings settled our hunger quickly. Due to the oppressive heat, upper 90’s, we do not get in any hurry to eat our dinner and leave the air conditioning, the cold soft drinks and hot cooked meals."

"Stacey and I sit in line at a Church’s Fried Chicken for 30 minutes in order to bring back some fried chicken to her parents for dinner ..."

"...Next, I came back to change and meet up with the family again and we head to my favorite place in Nacogdoches – Butcher Boys for a nice 1/3 lb bacon cheeseburger. Fortunately, they let evacuees have their food ½ price and this also helped out our family."

"We return to town had a relaxing dinner a La Carreta ..."

"...We were sitting on the porch in our own pools of sweat and I notice he’s sitting there with sweat pouring off him and he had the leaf blower sitting beside him. Next, I notice he has this mischievous twinkle in his eye like he’s about to do something coy or silly. He looks at the fan (a standard ceiling fan run by electricity) and looks at his leaf blower. Next thing you know, he cranks the leaf blower, aims it towards the fan and the blades of the fan start rotating...momentary relief."

new recruit

The FatGuys warmly welcomed a new member into their fold(s) yesterday. After experiencing fat "non-appreciation" from his fiancee (who otherwise seems like a very nice girl) he found solace in the sturdy companionship of the FatGuys and affirmation in their continual celebration of all things obese. Hopefully his fiancee will come to see the light of the glory of Fatness as well... when that light isn't blocked out...

moving experience

It was suggested last night that we replace our five steps going up to the second level with an escalator. Apparently the climb is far too strenuous for some members of our household. In a similar flight of fancy, a people-mover was suggested for the 25 yard-or-so "commute" from the house to the church. All this while sucking down a bottle of Easy Cheese on Ritz crackers. Nothing like food for inspiration...

the roof, the roof.... the roof is falling down!

Matt generously offered to paint and seal his mom's roof this weekend. As with many other tasks, the last time this was performed was when Matt was but a shadow of his current self. After some interesting maneuvers to get up on the roof without a ladder, which included nearly breaking his door handle by standing on it, he managed to hoist his largeness up and proceed to fix the roof. However, when he finally made it down and back inside, he realized that much of the ceiling had been shaken loose. I'm not sure what the weight limit of a trailer roof is but I think it's safe to say it was gloriously exceeded.

Fifteen?

So we went to Red Robin after church last Sunday with most of the FatGuy contingent (along with all of us SKINNY girls. ;-) We told them a table for 15, which was the actual number of people that we had. Alas, we neglected to mention that with the group bulk taken into account, we would need more actual SPACE than 15 dinky chairs. The FatGuys were quite proud of the fact that we spread to an additional table to accomodate our collective roominess.

don't give that man a cart...

The event of Matt's moving into the official FatGuy household has, in addition to further stressing the floorboards, provided ample Fatness opportunities. First to arrive in his room was his very own, brand new dorm size fridge. This fridge has a lock and key, apparently to keep me from stealing chilled Nutty Bars. (right....) He also has a new, large dresser that is half for clothes and half for food. I know, it's not truly FatGuy unless the whole thing is for food... but we're making an attempt here.

What's the first thing a FatGuy does with a new fridge and dresser drawers? Fill them with food, of course! Matt Justin, and many bags came traipsing through the door after apparently pillaging Kroger. I'm imagining that the stockpeople had quite a busy night refilling all the empty shelf spaces. Needless to say, Matt's fridge and dresser drawers (not to mention my chest freezer) are busting at the seams. The FatGuys will be all set in case Hurricane Maria decides to veer off course and hit Michigan.