Alabama Represents

The mecca of FatGuys is now officially Alabama, according to this report from our Southern chapter. We're poud of y'all! Keep up the good ... ummm... work might be too strong of a word here...

International Fat Appreciation

This photo is from one of my favorite websites ever: engrish.com. The best part is I bet this t-shirt probably only comes sized up to an Asian XL, which would be ultra-skin tight on any self respecting FatGuy who managed to get it over his head!

FatGuy of the Week (and a half)

Scott definitely wins this award for the amazing feat of gaining 10 pounds in a week and a half! He's made his brother quite jealous in the process; Garrett tries SO hard but is plagued by that evil disease called metabolism. Perhaps he will be smiled upon one day in the future with the blessings of middle-age spread. Hang in there buddy!

Fat Floats... the continuing saga

There really is nothing quite like swimming with FatGuys. I don't think there are any other situations so rife with opportunity for fat appreciation. Add a diving board and water slide into the mix and it just enhances the unique experience.

In an ecologically-minded effort to raise lake levels, Scott performed the FatGuy Wave for us. It went something like, "You wanna see a Fat Guy wave?" followed by a thunderous cannonball off of the diving board while waving, of course. Physics was never so much fun. Of course, newfound fatness has its perils, as Matt discovered while surface diving. His belly is several inches closer to the surface than it was when he learned his rescue diving techniques, so he met the aforementioned surface a bit flatter and sooner than anticiapted. Ouch.

The crowning glory on our evening of fat frolicking was conquering the water slide. It rocked perilously from side to side as the ladder was climbed, and it took several scoots from each FatGuy to get started on the descent as their bootys were wedged pretty tightly between the sides. The landing splashes were well worth the effort, however, as anyone standing nearby got thoroughly drenched. The moral of this story is... if you want a recipie for the ultimate water adventure, FatGuys are the essential ingredient!

Fat Fiction

Justin suggested last night that we put out a call for Fat Fiction. If anyone is feeling like doing some hefty creative writing, please feel free to send it along and I will introduce it to that dubious world of instant internet publishing which is the blog. Truthful and/or fanciful anecdotes are all welcome, as long as they extol the wonders of FatGuy-dom and are suitable for all who may peruse.

Hope for Tim

Poor Tim, all skinny and buff... one of those exercising, sporty types. Even his diet of all frozen potato-based products and bratwurst has failed to produce an ounce of fat on him anywhere. With such a bleak outlook, we had lost all hope of Tim ever joining the FatGuy club. However, a shining spark of hope has been lit. Now that Jerri is here, Tim is learning that he will have to not only finish his dinner but her leftovers as well. Now if we can just manage to restrain him from climbing anything or running anywhere, we might just be able to get those extra calories to take hold!

extreme home makeover

Due to the previously reported demise of our dining room chairs (and the fact that nothing matched anymore) Justin and I decided to purchase a new dining set. I'm not quite sure what the sharky salesmen thought when they observed us sitting on the chairs and bouncing up and down to determine their degree of FatGuy friendliness. I'm sure "you break it, you bought it" ran through their minds several times. Anyhow, we finally selled on a sturdy, padded set that should keep all the FatGuy bootys safe from crashing through for years and pounds to come. Leave it to Value City!

Local flavor

Matt sampling the local cuisine (naturally) and archaic fire apparatus in Watch Hill, RI.

That's Hot....

Here are some recent pics of our members. The first is me with TJ, the second is Matt and Andy proudly displaying their bulk at LifeWay, and the third is... well, maybe one day they will get fat enough to play this guitar, but in the meantime Matt's horizontal stripes unfortunately aren't doing much to accentuate his gut.

Beached Whales

We just got back from a weekend full of FatGuy bliss. Not only did we all get to chow down on my mom's home cooking but we also got to have a kosher breakfast of bagels and lox and cream cheese, and a dinner of not-so-kosher lobster and steamers. The highlight of the weekend was DEFINITELY the sights, however. FatGuys in the pool, displacing the water... FatGuys on the beach... FatGuys in all their glory. My particular favorite was watching Matt chase Justin around the pool trying to get him to jump in. After that we were treated to Matt singing "Can't Touch This" and doing a jiggly dance. I even gave in and did a FatChick dive for the Guys' enjoyment. However, we were not brave enough to get pictures, so the FatGuy frolicking will have to live on in blog format.

Not quite the Arby's guy...

This picture reminded me of the Arby's commerical where the guy has the Arby's hat floating over his head. Not quite the same, but it definitely shows that food is always on a FatGuy's mind...

Mexi-Gut

Last night we had just finished watcing a Mercy Me concert... the band fronted by the most awesome FatGuy rock star ever, Bart Millard. Having left at about midnight, the urge to run (or drive) for the border came upon us as we passed an open Taco Bell. As Justin pulled up to the drive-thru box and began ordering, the inevitable question was asked... "Tacos hard or soft?" Before Justin could reply, Matt chimed in with "Soft... like my belly." The poor drive thru attendant had to put us on hold while she snorted with laughter. Of course being so late at night we were giggling uncontrollably as well. It was just the thing to top off our evening of fat fair food and fine music.

Divine Dunlap

Matt is quite proud of himself for perfecting the art of the "Dunlap Tuck." His napkin no longer slides off of his lap because he can tuck the edge of it underneath his ample spare tire. That napkin's not going ANYwhere. Who knew that fatness could even improve one's table manners.

Man-Planet

The Weeky World News is famous for its wonderfully outlandish FatGuy stories. I had to give in and buy one a few weeks ago at K-Mart when I was sucked in at the checkout line by the cover story... "World's Fattest People." That made for random shouts of "Holy crap, dude!!!" from the bathroom for a few days. Justin sent along this gem today for our perusal.

Traffic stopper

Apparently Thailand needs to be schooled on the appreciation of the Fat Guy. For some reason they don't think Fat Guys look good directing traffic... read here... but think about it, what stops traffic better than a nicely uniformed, highly visible Fat Guy? They are missing out on a valuable resource if you ask me.

New pledge pulling his weight

For a skinny guy, Robert is taking huge bites toward fatness. He had his first moment worthy of Fat Guy documentation last Friday night when he was interrupted from eating to be taken out to dinner. His future as a Fat Guy is looming large!

Aspartame Blasphemy

Another incident of this past month that is worthy of recording is the dirty trick that was played on Matt by his mom, who is needlessly alarmed at his expanding waistline. Actually it's Justin's waistline that's expanding and Matt's booty, if we want to be specific. But back to the story. Matt was leisurely working on a 2-liter of Dr. Pepper. He strayed away, and came back to take a swig, and was rudely shocked by a mouthful of Diet Coke. The Dr. Pepper had been surreptitiously replaced with an aspartame-laden substitute. Needless to say, that Fat Guy was none too happy.

Two down, two to go.

Previously I reported that Matt had gloriously busted one of our new dining room chairs. Not to be outdone, Justin has since decimated a second. As he was leaning back, he suddenly pitched over with a loud crack and the chair was in about four different pieces. It was quite hilarious... luckily Justin was OK as all that cushioning protected him. Needless to say I was quite proud of my husband at that moment. However, I am keeping a sharp eye on the two remaining chairs... the rest of us have to have something to sit on!

National Convention

I must say those Fat Guys are contagious. I've had quite the streak of laziness here with the blog. Now that I've seen the bulk (and I mean bulk) of the Guys off on their trip to Nashville and the National Beta Iota Gamma convention, I have a few updates to post. Matt called at lunchtime to let me know that after months of Michigan deprivation, he, Justin, and Andy were feasting upon the manna of Sonic, with cheeseburgers, tater tots, and cherry vanilla Dr. Pepper galore. It is really making me crave one of those coconut cream pie shakes. Oy.

Big Elvis

This dude is awesome. Apparently this photo was taken in a Las Vegas parade and the guy is appropriately known as "Big Elvis." Photo from CNN.